PARENTIING POLICY
PARENTING IS THE MOST IMPORTANT JOB IN THE WORLD
IT SHAPES THE ENTIRE FUTURE WE CREATE FOR OURSELVES
​
​
The way we were raised as children, creates who we are, and the world we live in.
The fundamental importance and broad reaching effect of parenting cannot be overstated, parenting is the overriding force that shapes everything we are, everything we create, and the world we live in. Even before entering school, all the basic and deepest characteristics of our personality have been set; how we fundamentally feel about ourselves and life. Do we feel happy, safe, confident, and have high self esteem, or do we feel anxious, depressed, unconfident, and disliking of ourself. Do we feel the world is a safe place, with kind people, and fun things to do, or do we feel that it is dangerous, with people that cannot be trusted, and requires hard work to survive in. These characteristics become the foundation on which every other part of our personality is built; these feelings about ourself and life, will persist throughout our entire life, subconsciously creating what we believe, every reaction and feeling we have, the way we perceive everything, and all the decisions we make. These decisions then create the world we live in.
As we learn to speak, we begin to form more complex beliefs, and understanding of ourselves, those around us, and the world. We largely copy the beliefs and way of life of those close to us, and as adults generally we replicate the way of life we were taught in our childhood. Only with education and a deep understanding of ourselves and our psychology, can we begin to change who we are, our understanding of parenting, and the way to carry it out correctly.
​
The root cause of every issue we have, on an individual level, a society level, and a world level, always lies in the way we were raised. The way we currently raise our children, directly creates the world we have, and all it's issues. We have to fundamentally change who we are, and how we parent, if we are to Solve Everything, and Fulfil our Dreams, and Everyone is God has a complete set of policies to achieve this.
​
Current issues with parenting.
​
The issues we currently have with our parenting can be divided into three areas:
​
Lack of time and energy to carry out parenting:
​
So many parents struggle with the difficulty of parenting and working at the same time, and quite often they are isolated from broader family support such as grandparents, or a supportive community. It is physically impossible to parent if you are not with your child, and it is impossible to parent well, if you are tired, stressed, short of time, and trying to run the home in the few hours you do have with your child.
​
Lack of support and regulation:
​
All crime and dysfunction has its roots in the upbringings people had in their childhoods. Prisons are full of criminals who experienced trauma, abuse and neglect in their early years, and it is this that will be the underlying driving force of their crime. The same is true not only for crime, but all dysfunction in society. We know without any doubt that many cases of child abuse and neglect are happening across Britain right now every day, and that this will simply continue if we do not change our approach. There were over 200,000 offences related to child physical abuse recorded by police in England, Wales and Northern Ireland in 2022/2023, this figure would not represent the entire scale of child abuse and neglect, a figure which could be much higher. It is impossible to know which parents are doing a great job, and which parents are struggling, those that are struggling, or who are abusing their children, do not generally seek help from others or the authorities. Child abuse happens behind closed doors, and quite often it can be hidden from friends and authorities, in what looks like entirely functional families, paedophilia is a common example of this. As a nation we have a simple choice, do we wish to be private about our parenting, and continue to have child abuse and neglect, or are we brave enough to open our families to regulation and support. It is a simple fact that unless all parents are supported and regulated on an ongoing basis, child abuse will continue.
​
Lack of knowledge of how to carry out parenting:
​
The greatest lack of knowledge we have regarding parenting is to do with the extreme sensitivity of children, and the effects upon them of generally accepted and well meaning techniques of parenting. Children are exceptionally empathic, and are fully emotionally developed even before birth. By this we mean that they they can feel everything that is going on around them, and most importantly when we say everything, we mean that they are exceptionally sensitive to peoples inner feelings and beliefs. Children when born however, are almost completely cognitively undeveloped, they have almost no knowledge or understanding.
We do not aim to give a complete description of parenting here, but we do wish to give some examples of the current issues. The greatest need children have is loving physical contact with their parents, and skin to skin contact is always best, the need is greatest when the child is youngest. Before birth, a child lives inside the mother, and has direct physical connection, through the umbilical cord and skin to skin contact of the womb, 24/7 for nine months, there could not be a closer physical connection. The baby feels the mothers heart beat, and everything she is doing and feeling, the baby is literally inside the body and feelings of the mother, and all being well, very aware of the father in a similar way as he will be regularly lying and cuddling with the mother and baby.
At birth the child is immediately physically separated from the mother, as it enters the outside world, and many well meaning parents will put their child in a carefully prepared and decorated nursery or bedroom and leave it to go to sleep, as this is what we are taught to do. This causes the child immediate separation anxiety and deep trauma as a result, and it will either immediately go into shock and remain quiet, or cry with the trauma, usually it is a combination of both until the child becomes exhausted, and falls asleep. This trauma is not recognised at all in current parenting, and is actually considered normal, as parents expect children to cry regularly. We do not wish to alarm parents, we wish to help; but the truth is that whenever a child cries, it is experiencing trauma, and the trauma of continual separation can be as damaging as physical, or sexual abuse, or even more damaging. This is entirely contradictory to current belief; current parenting assumes that if there is not a practical reason for crying, such as hunger, cold, or tiredness, that it is just something that babies do which is normal and not a problem.
The key point here is that the child has no concept at all of bedrooms, and walls, and parents being on the other side of those walls, caring for their child. All the child knows is that it is somewhere isolated, dark, and completely on its own, without any knowledge of if and when it will ever be with its parents again. Parents know this in a sense, from when babies start crying the minute they leave the room. To give some idea of the trauma babies feel at these times, I believe it is fair to use this example. Imagine that you have a deep basement in your home, in your town, and one day you go right to the deepest part of that basement. You are looking for an old photo down there, of when you were a child with your parents, a happy photo of happy times. You feel a bit of a shake while you are down there, but you continue and after some time you find the photo, and you bring it up to put on your mantle piece. As you climb the stairs you see that something is very wrong, your entire house has been blown away, as you come out into the open where your house once stood, you see everything has been blown away, your parents house next door, your sisters house at the end of the street, all your friends and neighbours houses, the school, the shops, the whole town is gone. You see no one, and you do not know if anyone survived, it is just you, no family, no friends, no home, and no life support, you do not know who or what you will ever see again. The trauma you would experience would be extreme, and most likely immediately send you into shock, this is exactly what babies can experience as soon as they are physically separated from the womb, and the parents. They loose their home, all the people they are close to and physically connected with, and their entire life support system, which is provided to them by their parents. Because they have no abilities of thought, understanding, and knowledge of bedrooms and homes, they have no idea or concept of when the parents will come back, all they know is what they experience in the present, and that experience is of being abandoned and alone.
The babies response to this is to immediately programme or code many things straight into its subconscious, things such as: it has been abandoned by its parents, its parents do not love them, they are not worthy of love, they are not safe, that the world is a very scary place, and it is entirely unknown if and when their parents will ever come back and look after them again. This coding is never forgotten, and never diminishes, if the child sleeps regularly by itself, it is relentlessly reinforced. The earliest coding is the most powerful, as it is the first instructions that go into and are stored by the subconscious. The subconscious is what drives the vast majority of our behaviour, inner feeling, and beliefs. The early coding therefore is our foundational coding, it is the basis on which we perceive all of life, and forms the foundation on which all other coding is built. So this is where all the problems in the world begin, what we believe is a kind thing to do, by putting a young child in their own beautiful nursery with cuddly toys, is for the child a highly traumatic experience, that repeats all night, every night, for years, it literally is a place of nightmares. Many parents might feel that they did this and their children turned out fine, however the trauma is buried at the deepest level in the subconscious, and it comes out in ways that maybe subtle, and considered completely normal. The subtle ways can be very pervasive, and manifest as things like low grade anxiety, worry, introvertedness, lack of confidence in social situations, lack of motivation and passion, a mild shopping or food addiction. All of these things might be considered part of normal life, but this actually is not the case, and they can be avoided or resolved, such that people feel infinitely stronger than they ever did before. Earlier examples of this are childhood tantrums, the terrible twos, and difficulties in the teenage years, quite often this can be considered normal, but actually it is not at all. But equally the effects of early childhood trauma can be mush more dramatic, indeed this is how we create all the mental illness; the depression because we are not loved, the anxiety because we do not know if we will ever be safe, the addiction because we are desperately trying to avoid the inner pain we constantly feel. This is where all world problems also start, the greed because we constantly feel a lack of love which we try to fix by acquiring possessions, the dictatorship, because we constantly feel out of control our life, and seek to control others. The violence because we constantly feel unsafe inside; we feel angry at the trauma of our childhood, and feel threatened by those outside of us. We feel psychopathic because we had to lock away the shock we felt, and when we did this we also locked away empathy for others, with it. The root cause of every single issue we have, both inside of us, and outside of us, will always directly go back to childhood, and the way we were parented. Parents working, continually repeat this problem of absence of love for the child and abandonment, sending the child to nursery creates a whole new layer of this trauma, as the child does not understand why it has been separated not only from its parents, but also its home, and placed with strangers that it does not know, and does not feel safe with.
We do not wish to criticise or make parents feel guilty, we understand everyone is doing their best. Our aim is to explain our research, and some of the innocent misconceptions we have around parenting, how they can cause extreme trauma to children, and how they lead to all the problems we have. The problem of absence of loving contact with the parents is the biggest problem we have on our planet, it is the root cause of all problems, and in this sense it is the only problem we really have to solve. This is just the beginning, the problem of absence of loving contact from parents, goes far deeper than I am describing here, it is all to do with the fact that a young child cannot distinguish love, sex, physical contact, relationships, and how it feels about itself and life. We are not able to describe all the issues and all their solutions here, but we will outline the basics of our policy, and how it does indeed provide all the solutions we need.
Our policy - How it solves the issues and achieves the aims.
Our policy is very simple and has three parts:
​
The first part of our policy is to completely restructure society around parenting, and make sure it is regarded as the most fundamental and important thing we do on this planet in terms of the society we create. This requires the correct support, and systems, in every area of our society, in order to ensure parenting is always the carried out in the most functional way. There will be extensive education in schools to prepare children for all aspects of parenting, to help them decide if they want to have children or not, and the far reaching responsibilities of it. Everyone who wants children will be encouraged and supported to have them, and everyone who does not want children will equally be encouraged in their choice. This is the first and most essential thing, as if children are born to parents that are not fully invested in their up brining, you will never be able to achieve functional parenting.
On a practical level the first thing that needs to be achieved is that parents need to be able to parent, this means they need to be at home with their children 24/7 when they are young, not at work. It is physically impossible to work and to parent, and so we will, slowly over time, restructure the tax and public spending system, to pay both mothers and fathers to be able to parent, and educate their children full time, until the children go to school. Ensuring that parenting is carried out correctly at all times, will be regarded as the most important priority for all of society, so that it will function in a balanced way for everyone. The profession of parenting will therefore attract a professional nationally funded salary, and it must be regarded as a more than full time career choice. After attending school the professional parenting salary would continue but at a diminishing level, and parents would over the years return back to other jobs. We do not wish to disrespect the work of nurseries and boarding schools, however there will be a new understanding of parenting, and in this understanding, nurseries and boarding schools will be strictly banned, as they will correctly be regarded as child neglect, a recognised form of abuse. Parents may feel sending their children to boarding school in their mid to late teens did them no harm, indeed it gave them confidence. However the same psychology of leaving your child in a bedroom is true, children feel abandoned in these institutions, even into their late teens, and these effects can be entirely subconscious to the parents and the child, even in the case where all of them may feel no harm was ever done at any time.
​
The second part of our policy is to completely restructure the education system, so that everyone is taught everything they need to know about how we function as humans, and everyone receives basic education in parenting, so that if ever they come into contact with children, they know how to interact with them in a completely functional way. The most important part of this education is from the parents, as children always learn from their parents above all else, and after this there will be extensive education throughout all of school. People who want to becomes parents, will then have to complete extensive professional parenting education, before becoming eligible for the parenting salary, and before having children. We note teachers legally have to receive extensive education to teach, why then do parents, who have a far greater effect on children, not have to have education to parent?
​
The third part of our policy is ongoing support and regulation of parenting. It is a simple fact that many parents who are doing their best, maybe struggling with mental health issues, drug & alcohol addiction, domestic violence, sexual issues such as paedophilia, life stresses, and above all else a lack of knowledge about how to parent. These challenges can lead to dysfunctional or abusive parenting. Without regulation, these things will always continue, so if Britain wants to ensure that all children are parented correctly in loving, stable, homes, this means all parents will have to open their doors and welcome regular support and regulation from social services. We all must be humble enough to acknowledge our short falls in life, and continually welcome the opportunity to improve ourselves, equally we must all play our part in protecting every child. Given the extreme importance of parenting, it is particularly important that it is supported and regulated, just like any other highly responsible profession. Would we consider not training and regulating airline pilots, surgeons, GP's, the Police, solicitors, bankers, and Politicians, it is entirely normal to regulate all these professions, and therefore we should regard it as entirely normal to regulate parenting?
Social workers will be expertly trained in parenting, and how to recognise the sometimes very subtle signs of dysfunctional parenting. We hope it is clearer from the brief explanation above of issues with parenting, that it is much more common than people realise, that parents can appear to be completely functional in their parenting, but unintentionally be causing trauma to their children. Social workers will be trained to see beyond tidy well kept homes, and organised environments, to assess if the deeper needs of the child for love, safety, nurture, and boundaries, are being fully met. Parents will not regard social workers as a threat, they will be highly regarded, and their knowledge, experience, and support will be sought after and welcomed.
The support and regulation will continue throughout schooling, and teachers will be trained in a similar way to social workers, to recognise subtle signs of abuse and dysfunction. Everyone will be clear that there is no such thing as a problem child, the issue will always start and be with the parenting, so as soon as a child demonstrates dysfunctional behaviour, the root cause will be sought and rapidly addressed by the school working with the social worker and parents.
​
With our parenting policy and its supporting policies, there are multiple systems and checks in place at all stages, to ensure that all parents are fully equipped and supported to parent. Our policies ensure that every child, at every stage of its life, receives the loving and functional upbringing it deserves, so that it grows into an adult that is happy, fulfilled, and constructive in society.
​
Supporting policies.
​
​
​
Witten by Marcus white © 2024, updated 4-5-2024.
​
​